It's NOT Positive Thinking

It's been a while since my last blog...the holidays were much to rich to sit in front of a laptop.  We even celebrated a birth in our family!  Such a gift to hold a new, sweet baby! 

The holidays gave me a chance to visit with family.  In my family, I suppose because I'm a counselor...no I can't say that...it's been true since I could speak, I am the one people go to for advice.  The graduate degree just makes it official now. 

I've found that my understanding of mind, thought & consciousness has been ongoing, and has had a ripple effect on those around me.  In the crazy spin of things, my family of origin has been last to feel the ripple.  I've struggled most to speak to them clearly about my understanding.  I believe that this is because they really matter to me...I want them so badly to hear beyond my words that I focus on the outcome.  The result is that I am not listening...and then I feel insecure (or is it the other way around?). 

While "home" for the holidays I began to notice that I was really enjoying the process of advice giving.  I was really good at hearing a complex question and boiling it down to the simplest terms by my understanding of mind, thought & consciousness.  I was having quite a good time being the professional know-it-all! 

As I observed myself, I realized this sense of grandeur.  Translation, I was off the mark!  I sat up in bed....the bed I had grown up in...thinking about what I really wanted to say to these family members.  It was something like, "You know more than you give yourself credit.  What do you think?".  

So, the next night with my mom, the perfect moment came my way.  She said she wondered if there was any hope for teens who had experienced serious and/or ongoing trauma.  I wanted to yell out, "Of course!  Each of us has the power to be well...as our birthright!  The past is only alive in our thinking!  Haven't you been listening?" :)  Instead, I asked her what she thought.  A nice conversation followed, in which I pointed out her mind and how she already depends on it for guidance.

Soon after my trip, she texted me a couple of cute things about positive thinking.  It was clear to me that she was on the right track, but that she was missing something key.  I knew this, because it was familiar to me...I, too, once thought The Principles were about controlling the matter of your thinking.  It's an easy pitfall, but I couldn't find the words at first to put her back on the right path.  That's why I love texting...a non-reply is okay for a while!

(I love this next part!) As I sat to write my blog today, I felt unsure of what exactly to discuss.  I did what I often do, which is to pull a book out from my Principles library, flip to any page, and read for inspiration.  Today I chose Our True Identity...Three Principles by Elsie Spittle.

And I read, "Please understand the process is not about controlling thought.  It is about realizing that you are the thinker.  Realizing this allows you to be more an observer of behavior, yours and others, without becoming attached to the behavior."

Brilliant!  Exactly!  This is what I was doing with my own thinking when I realized that I needed to listen to my family members and help them tap into their mind.  This was also what I was unable to put into words to help my mom differentiate The Principles from positive thinking.  Aw, now if that wasn't an insight, I don't know what is! 
Gotta go...texting my mom now! :)  Enjoy your observations of yourself and others in this hopeful 2011!