There's been a word that keeps popping up in the quiet moments when insights come. "Comfortable." The meaning used to be very clear. Something to do with ease and it was a desirable place to be. No one ever wants to be uncomfortable, and for most of my life I've taken feelings of discomfort as a sign that I must be off track. Comfortable is even defined as "being free from stress and tension." Being comfortable, then, is the desired outcome.
I am convinced, however, that being uncomfortable is not only good, it is necessary. A lot of the wonderful things that I find joy in have come from/with some great discomfort. For example, when I think about my new involvement in a recreational roller derby team, the word comfort does not come to mind. In fact, I would say that it is most definitely uncomfortable. My empty bottle of tiger balm confirms this fact, but the thing is that roller derby has brought me so much joy. I am proud of myself & I'm getting stronger. I'm following a wild insight I had, even though I've been uncomfortable all along the way...even though other people are uncomfortable with my choice.
Many times along the way I have tried, via my scaredy-cat personal thinking, to talk myself out of my new hobby. Even while on the track, I've had to override my wimpy thoughts and clear my head. What's left is just me and the clarity that I am happy to be doing what I'm doing. Comfort can't hold a candle to happiness.
For me, it seems that insights, whether it be regarding a business plan, a romantic choice, or even a hobby, at some point require a leap of faith. It's one thing to get an insight from your Mind, but it's quite another thing to act on it. Maybe this fear is where this notion that being uncomfortable is bad got it's roots. Maybe it lies in the fact that historically & collectively we've spent a lot of time shying away from our insights. Then we've needed to convince ourselves that the safer more comfortable choice was the right one. And here we've sat with no real understanding of discomfort and all its glory.
This theory about comfort has many holes in it, after all. First of all, when you deny the truth that you know, it does not go away...even as you sit comfortably. Conversely, when you take a leap of faith...and follow what you feel to be right for you, you are always rewarded. You always find what you were hoping for & much more. This requires some discomfort though, because doing something that was not planned by your personal thinking also sometimes means it does not make logical sense. Others may question you from their comfortable chairs. You'll have nothing to say, except that even with some discomfort it still feels right.
I'll leave you with one question before you decide how optimal comfort is for you. Think for a moment about all the moments...or THE moment...in your life for which you are truly proud. It can be anything, and you'll know it because of the strong feelings the memory evokes as you recall it. Now, think about this memory. Was it full of comfort, or were there times when you had to go down the bumpy road of discomfort?
So, what's to stop you from flinging yourself at discomfort when it shows up along the path you've chosen for yourself? I, myself, am putting out a welcome mat for all discomfort that comes as I pursue my insights and dreams. For this is where all of my learning comes from...this is where I build the next memory for which I will recall later with pride. I wish nothing less for you!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Monday, November 21, 2011
This Is No Time To Be Shy
Today's blog is a bit different. Usually I write when something has occurred to me...when some insight has given me new clarity. On this day I feel a bit murky, although I am in familiar waters. My hope is twofold: One, that as I write I might free-flow myself right into my own answer. I'm a firm believer that we all have our own answers if we only listen, so this will be a test of sorts. Two, that some of you who are reading this may comment with your insights and ideas. I'd love nothing more than to learn from what I may hear in the words you share. So please, this is no time to be shy!
So, here it is...I recently spent time with an undisclosed loved one . We go way back...I should be perfectly comfortable, right? But I was not. In fact, I felt so uncomfortable that I actually got nauseous and thought I was going to be physically ill. As I sat late that night at home feeling 100% better, I began to ponder what all of this means. In truth, I did not have to ponder, rather I had to admit. This was not the first time this spontaneous nausea had happened to me, and I was very clear about what was happening. I was, however (and still am a little bit), confused about why I actually felt physically ill.
The truth is that I've changed a lot over the last handful of years. I've found it easy to change some old and longstanding habits. It's been magical...like I look one day, and OMG, I just don't have that habit anymore. But this one...this bite your tongue and endure one...has lived on long and strong. Why is it with some people that I ignore what I know...what I need...in order to not upset them? Why am I willing to do this at the price of annihilating my own experience and my connection with them in real time? Why do I sit quietly while I'm screaming in my head...and churning in my gut?
In my physical brain, I know better. I know that this fear I'm creating in my thinking is way bigger than any truth that I have to bare to this dear person. I also know that if I were to speak up, I'd be able to deliver my message with love...it would come from a place of love. Yet, still I vouch for a night of stomach cramping nausea over a moment of honesty dialogue.
Another thing I know is that we cannot control others, and that it is not wise to take other people's thoughts or actions too personally. Yet I sat with this person and seemed to take on (physically) the entire effect of the night. What am I afraid of?...or more importantly, why am I allowing this fear to be so real and alive in my life? Didn't I just make it up in my thinking when I told myself that speaking the truth would be tragic? Why then am I choosing to believe it as though it is factual?
Somehow "knowing" these things was not enough...I still got lost and found myself ill. It was like my stomach said, "Well, screw you if you're going to function at such a low level!". So this is new...this physical response to me quieting myself just when I should speak up. The habit, however, is old and very engraved in my thinking. It is one of those thoughts that I've called up so consistently, that despite what I know intellectually, I still find myself in it again before I'm even aware of it.
So then, it's going to take some greater awareness and some courage too. Courage to test out what I already know is true...my feelings tell me what is right and true for me. Then it's up to me what I do with that information. Sometimes my thoughts can not be trusted, and when I realize this I have to trust myself more deeply. My true self...the me that's way beyond my little personal thoughts.
In terms of awareness, I can see my nausea as a beautiful gift in some way now. It is a very real indicator that I am believing this thought that "I must be quiet...kind...go along with it" again. It's an indicator that's really hard to ignore. My body has created a signal that matches the need. It's up to me to use this gift wisely as the kick start, that I obviously need, when it's time to speak up! "This is no time to be shy Cory", my stomach is quite bluntly telling me in the only way it can.
Have I just solved my own problem? Perhaps, but I still welcome all your thoughts. We all stumble and fall. We all have something that trips us up, and we all have our own solutions. My hunch is that it always has something to do with not believing everything you think & maybe not taking yourself so seriously. What do you think?
So, here it is...I recently spent time with an undisclosed loved one . We go way back...I should be perfectly comfortable, right? But I was not. In fact, I felt so uncomfortable that I actually got nauseous and thought I was going to be physically ill. As I sat late that night at home feeling 100% better, I began to ponder what all of this means. In truth, I did not have to ponder, rather I had to admit. This was not the first time this spontaneous nausea had happened to me, and I was very clear about what was happening. I was, however (and still am a little bit), confused about why I actually felt physically ill.
The truth is that I've changed a lot over the last handful of years. I've found it easy to change some old and longstanding habits. It's been magical...like I look one day, and OMG, I just don't have that habit anymore. But this one...this bite your tongue and endure one...has lived on long and strong. Why is it with some people that I ignore what I know...what I need...in order to not upset them? Why am I willing to do this at the price of annihilating my own experience and my connection with them in real time? Why do I sit quietly while I'm screaming in my head...and churning in my gut?
In my physical brain, I know better. I know that this fear I'm creating in my thinking is way bigger than any truth that I have to bare to this dear person. I also know that if I were to speak up, I'd be able to deliver my message with love...it would come from a place of love. Yet, still I vouch for a night of stomach cramping nausea over a moment of honesty dialogue.
Another thing I know is that we cannot control others, and that it is not wise to take other people's thoughts or actions too personally. Yet I sat with this person and seemed to take on (physically) the entire effect of the night. What am I afraid of?...or more importantly, why am I allowing this fear to be so real and alive in my life? Didn't I just make it up in my thinking when I told myself that speaking the truth would be tragic? Why then am I choosing to believe it as though it is factual?
Somehow "knowing" these things was not enough...I still got lost and found myself ill. It was like my stomach said, "Well, screw you if you're going to function at such a low level!". So this is new...this physical response to me quieting myself just when I should speak up. The habit, however, is old and very engraved in my thinking. It is one of those thoughts that I've called up so consistently, that despite what I know intellectually, I still find myself in it again before I'm even aware of it.
So then, it's going to take some greater awareness and some courage too. Courage to test out what I already know is true...my feelings tell me what is right and true for me. Then it's up to me what I do with that information. Sometimes my thoughts can not be trusted, and when I realize this I have to trust myself more deeply. My true self...the me that's way beyond my little personal thoughts.
In terms of awareness, I can see my nausea as a beautiful gift in some way now. It is a very real indicator that I am believing this thought that "I must be quiet...kind...go along with it" again. It's an indicator that's really hard to ignore. My body has created a signal that matches the need. It's up to me to use this gift wisely as the kick start, that I obviously need, when it's time to speak up! "This is no time to be shy Cory", my stomach is quite bluntly telling me in the only way it can.
Have I just solved my own problem? Perhaps, but I still welcome all your thoughts. We all stumble and fall. We all have something that trips us up, and we all have our own solutions. My hunch is that it always has something to do with not believing everything you think & maybe not taking yourself so seriously. What do you think?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Feelings: Invention vs Factualism
Do not give in too much to feelings.
A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.
Feelings...they must be the most misunderstood human phenomenon to date. We, as a society, have built up tremendous truths about feelings, and we have created practices that represent and protect these truths. Take our legal system, for example. It has terminology especially dedicated to how feelings may impact the law...crime of passion, temporary insanity, competency, hostile witness, no-fault divorce, etc.
We don't understand feelings, exactly, so we make up a lot of excuses for ourselves...excuses that are widely accepted. When I get mad, I cannot control myself...He/she made me feel this way...I can't help/change the way I feel...When I feel depressed, I've just gotta go through it. Sound familiar?
But, the more important question is, does it really sound true? A simple look at human experience points to a logical sequence. It goes like this:
1. A person has a thought. This happens all the time, but to this thought, he/she gives attention.
2. Very soon many thoughts in support of this original idea have been created in a moments time.
3. Before we are even aware of this process, we find ourselves in a feeling. We are further convinced that this feeling is a reality, because we've built up a lot of thinking about it already.
4. Our five senses begin to re-confirm what we created, and we are now only aware of what will confirm our current personal thinking.
5. From this some behaviors are likely to follow, and we are likely left feeling that we are at the mercy of our feelings.
I am here to tell you say that this old logic regarding feelings is not good enough, or even valid! Feelings are the proof of what we are doing with our thinking. They are a barometer for your quality of thinking from moment to moment. This is why even during times of grief, we may have moments of contentment or a burst of laughter. We can create what we want. This is the actual opposite of being at the mercy of our feelings. In fact we are the creator of our feelings. What good news!..."Spread the news, the wicked old which at last is dead!" d
All it takes is a new way of understanding your feelings...the curiosity to experiment next time feelings start to seem too big. When you remind yourself that your feelings indicate that you've stepped out of your natural state and have given life to personal thoughts, a funny thing happens. Those thoughts just die. You've expose them as what they are...your creation...the man behind the wizard's curtain, and from this vantage point it's the most natural thing to see that you have so many other options.
I'll leave you with the wise, Darlene Stewart (1993, pg 167):
"Mental health doesn't mean you never have negative feelings or bad moods. Mental health is knowing what negative feelings are so you don't use them as an excuse to hurt yourself or someone else. Emotional maturity doesn't mean you never feel scared or despondent; it means you have the wisdom to recognize uncomfortable feelings as outgrowths of the way you are thinking right now."
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Art of Distraction
The art of distraction is often overlooked...minimized...misunderstood. This may be because lots of us believe that our reality is a real thing...a factual thing that happens outside of us. We think it is viewable from where we stand, but we fail to recognize that it is created right where we stand.
Darlene L. Stewart said it best when she said, "Whatever we believe becomes real for us, even if it isn't real to anyone else. If I believe in shortage of time, I'll never have enough time. If I believe learning is hard, I'll struggle with it...If I believe people don't like me, I'll behave in ways that eventually pushes them away. Then I'll say, 'I knew it. People just don't like me.' " (1993, p. 85).
And so here we are with our beliefs that become real...a reality, and with a perception that allows us to see exactly what we believe. This is where most of us live, and most of us long for some understanding or way to effect our reality. Such a simple thing, but only when you've gained some understanding regarding the tremendous power you possess through your use of thought.
Thought is that factor that is responsible for your reality, and it is absolutley something that you get to steer and choose. What we think about something equates how we experience it through our senses and our feelings. If you experiment with this truth, you will see it for yourself.
Most of us on any given day find ourselves in compulsive thinking, that is not conducive to well being in any way. This puts us in a mood, and this often leads to behavior choices. Now, if you know anything about thinking, you also know that thoughts come fast...we can't possible make ourselves not think something. BUT, what we can do is recognize that a thought is just mental material that we make up. We get to decide if we believe it...if we want to give power to it, or render it powerless.
This is where the underappreciated art of distracion comes in! Any time you are in a thought pattern that you are not enjoying, the way to a more enjoyable experience is to drop that thinking and make room for a new insight. Dropping your thinking can simply not be done by willpower or thinking it away. You must distract yourself momentarily...that's it.
You see, this is true, because your wisdom and well-being are buoyant. They will rise to the surface on their own if you get out of the way for a moment. Now, you may be skeptical about this, and I respect that, but just experiment if you feel so inclined! The next time you are in a feeling that you dislike, give yourself permission to have a mini-distraction. Allow your senses to be wrapped up in something else for a moment and see where this takes you. Be aware that this experiment is an experiment in thought dropping. Once you realize that you do this all the time, you'll be able to do it intentionally with the purpose of creating the reality that you want to see, feel, and live in. Have fun!
Darlene L. Stewart said it best when she said, "Whatever we believe becomes real for us, even if it isn't real to anyone else. If I believe in shortage of time, I'll never have enough time. If I believe learning is hard, I'll struggle with it...If I believe people don't like me, I'll behave in ways that eventually pushes them away. Then I'll say, 'I knew it. People just don't like me.' " (1993, p. 85).
And so here we are with our beliefs that become real...a reality, and with a perception that allows us to see exactly what we believe. This is where most of us live, and most of us long for some understanding or way to effect our reality. Such a simple thing, but only when you've gained some understanding regarding the tremendous power you possess through your use of thought.
Thought is that factor that is responsible for your reality, and it is absolutley something that you get to steer and choose. What we think about something equates how we experience it through our senses and our feelings. If you experiment with this truth, you will see it for yourself.
Most of us on any given day find ourselves in compulsive thinking, that is not conducive to well being in any way. This puts us in a mood, and this often leads to behavior choices. Now, if you know anything about thinking, you also know that thoughts come fast...we can't possible make ourselves not think something. BUT, what we can do is recognize that a thought is just mental material that we make up. We get to decide if we believe it...if we want to give power to it, or render it powerless.
This is where the underappreciated art of distracion comes in! Any time you are in a thought pattern that you are not enjoying, the way to a more enjoyable experience is to drop that thinking and make room for a new insight. Dropping your thinking can simply not be done by willpower or thinking it away. You must distract yourself momentarily...that's it.
You see, this is true, because your wisdom and well-being are buoyant. They will rise to the surface on their own if you get out of the way for a moment. Now, you may be skeptical about this, and I respect that, but just experiment if you feel so inclined! The next time you are in a feeling that you dislike, give yourself permission to have a mini-distraction. Allow your senses to be wrapped up in something else for a moment and see where this takes you. Be aware that this experiment is an experiment in thought dropping. Once you realize that you do this all the time, you'll be able to do it intentionally with the purpose of creating the reality that you want to see, feel, and live in. Have fun!
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Child's Wisdom
"Children are a wonderful gift . . . They have an extraordinary capacity to see into the heart of things and to expose sham and humbug for what they are." ~Desmond Tutu
Thank goodness for children! I've said it before. It is true, and I'm aware of how quickly they can pull someone right into a good feeling. They have a way of living here...in the place where good feelings are, and we, as adults, somehow live somewhere else...eventually even forgetting to visit this place of well being.
We become such over-thinkers. We explain less about our actions and expect others to understand more...to bend to fit us. Children, well they just find happiness in what they are doing...usually and quite naturally. They are not in control of a lot that goes on around them...they are not trying to be in control. They're just marching to a happy little tune within their heart.
It becomes so easy as we live and travel so many bends in the road, to be in judgement of others...to blame...to complain & take personally. It takes a lot of energy to do this...to stay in a bad feeling, but we have become excellent at it.
So much time is spent on expectations...and then on disappointment when our ideals aren't met...that the moment is lost. We are in our heads rather than in our moment.
Children, on the other hand, use their mind for imagination, creativity, exercise...generally on how to make any given moment as fabulous & rich as possible. Children are using all of their senses and coordination so that life becomes curious and adventurous.
So much there is to learn from children and their natural simplicity. A nice swing ride in the breeze...20 minutes of bubble blowing...one t-ball game...a remedy every time. Something sweet to distract us from our own creating
The world is there for us to experience as we choose through our own lens of thought. Wisdom and insight come in many forms, but none is more efficient and honest than that delivered via children.
Thank goodness for children! I've said it before. It is true, and I'm aware of how quickly they can pull someone right into a good feeling. They have a way of living here...in the place where good feelings are, and we, as adults, somehow live somewhere else...eventually even forgetting to visit this place of well being.
We become such over-thinkers. We explain less about our actions and expect others to understand more...to bend to fit us. Children, well they just find happiness in what they are doing...usually and quite naturally. They are not in control of a lot that goes on around them...they are not trying to be in control. They're just marching to a happy little tune within their heart.
It becomes so easy as we live and travel so many bends in the road, to be in judgement of others...to blame...to complain & take personally. It takes a lot of energy to do this...to stay in a bad feeling, but we have become excellent at it.
So much time is spent on expectations...and then on disappointment when our ideals aren't met...that the moment is lost. We are in our heads rather than in our moment.
Children, on the other hand, use their mind for imagination, creativity, exercise...generally on how to make any given moment as fabulous & rich as possible. Children are using all of their senses and coordination so that life becomes curious and adventurous.
So much there is to learn from children and their natural simplicity. A nice swing ride in the breeze...20 minutes of bubble blowing...one t-ball game...a remedy every time. Something sweet to distract us from our own creating
The world is there for us to experience as we choose through our own lens of thought. Wisdom and insight come in many forms, but none is more efficient and honest than that delivered via children.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Memories...RIP!
Memory...a powerful part of our life. Really just old thinking, and not to be confused with accuracy or fact. An old story from an old perspective, yet it has the ability to create new reality and experiences in real time. We call up our memories without much awareness of the process, and then experience whatever feelings surface. This, of course, colors our mood in the present moment, and then dictates the nature of our reaction or behavior. When it is put simply like this, it begins to make sense that we should be careful what memories we pull up, but somehow this simplicity turns to complexity and the truth gets lost in our overwhelming experiences from yesterday.
Our society values memory. We even believe that it is our experiences from the past that make us who we are today. This limits us so vastly! Losing memory is seen as devastating, leaving others around us to feel upset and personally impacted by the loss of data. What if, though, loosing memory (or the grip it has on you) actually was seen as a great gift allowing you the willingness to be comfortable in the unknown? A fresh start where you are aware of your creation of meaning-making as you go. No old, out of place fears...no supposed to's...no shouldn'ts...no struggle with forgiveness...no resistance to healthy change.
We all have experiences from our past that represent a time when deep rooted patterns began. These traits or personalities that develop are then rarely questioned later, despite the negative impact that often comes from living out of the moment.
People are willing to give up on dreams, loose a loved one, deny themselves, etc, but we are not willing to question the quality of our thinking. This keeps us on auto pilot...status-quo. More importantly, it makes us all feel powerless to, or at least inefficient at, rising above our past.
For me, this just isn't good enough. There are too many painful memories...too many regrets...too many hardships to carry. Luckily, I know that the only one who keeps me experiencing my past today is me! I also know that being aware of today's surprises is exactly what creates the life that I want to live. When I pull up old memories, I know it right away, because I feel insecure...vulnerable...like a lost soul. When this feeling comes over me, I simply look around and notice how my feeling does not match my environment. It is easy to see that I have gotten lost in my thinking.
At this point, I don't do anything. I don't work hard. I don't become hard on myself. I just remind myself that I have created my experience based on my personal thinking. I know that in this state of mind, I have lost my awareness of "now" and I have blocked off my ability to have new insights. I have muffled the voice of wisdom that is always buoyant inside of me.
By doing this, I become distracted from my current thinking, and the past dies a quiet and instant death. RIP! Now things can happen for me that I couldn't even see before. Suddenly clarity is mine, and I don't feel the need to take other people's thinking personally. We are all just here on this earth doing our best. Most of us don't have an understanding of the power of thinking, and we therefore are living a life that is below our potential. If we could all pay attention to the times when our perspective no longer seems to fit, memory would loose its power. The power would be returned to us as individuals who are not here to know everything, but are here to willingly be in the unknown. It is only in this place that we can be aware of our opportunities today. It is only here that peace and well being can replace fear as the driving factor in our lives. It must start with you...today's you!
Our society values memory. We even believe that it is our experiences from the past that make us who we are today. This limits us so vastly! Losing memory is seen as devastating, leaving others around us to feel upset and personally impacted by the loss of data. What if, though, loosing memory (or the grip it has on you) actually was seen as a great gift allowing you the willingness to be comfortable in the unknown? A fresh start where you are aware of your creation of meaning-making as you go. No old, out of place fears...no supposed to's...no shouldn'ts...no struggle with forgiveness...no resistance to healthy change.
We all have experiences from our past that represent a time when deep rooted patterns began. These traits or personalities that develop are then rarely questioned later, despite the negative impact that often comes from living out of the moment.
People are willing to give up on dreams, loose a loved one, deny themselves, etc, but we are not willing to question the quality of our thinking. This keeps us on auto pilot...status-quo. More importantly, it makes us all feel powerless to, or at least inefficient at, rising above our past.
For me, this just isn't good enough. There are too many painful memories...too many regrets...too many hardships to carry. Luckily, I know that the only one who keeps me experiencing my past today is me! I also know that being aware of today's surprises is exactly what creates the life that I want to live. When I pull up old memories, I know it right away, because I feel insecure...vulnerable...like a lost soul. When this feeling comes over me, I simply look around and notice how my feeling does not match my environment. It is easy to see that I have gotten lost in my thinking.
At this point, I don't do anything. I don't work hard. I don't become hard on myself. I just remind myself that I have created my experience based on my personal thinking. I know that in this state of mind, I have lost my awareness of "now" and I have blocked off my ability to have new insights. I have muffled the voice of wisdom that is always buoyant inside of me.
By doing this, I become distracted from my current thinking, and the past dies a quiet and instant death. RIP! Now things can happen for me that I couldn't even see before. Suddenly clarity is mine, and I don't feel the need to take other people's thinking personally. We are all just here on this earth doing our best. Most of us don't have an understanding of the power of thinking, and we therefore are living a life that is below our potential. If we could all pay attention to the times when our perspective no longer seems to fit, memory would loose its power. The power would be returned to us as individuals who are not here to know everything, but are here to willingly be in the unknown. It is only in this place that we can be aware of our opportunities today. It is only here that peace and well being can replace fear as the driving factor in our lives. It must start with you...today's you!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Patience
I never have been a patient person...I haven't known many patient people & I never really tried to become one, although I always saw the wisdom in it. In this rush-rush world of results and outcomes, I just never practiced, although I appreciated those who were patient with me along the way. Patience was one of those things that I thought did not belong to me...I wasn't like that...didn't possess that quality. I believed this thinking blindly as it lead me to many a heart-ache and many a bad result.
Recently, and quite without premeditation, I began questioning myself...began seeing myself as patient.
Two stories...
My daughter was at the pool recently with a friend. She is a pre-teen in all definitions of the word, and everything for me right now is a test. Her friend's parents arrived at the same pick up time and when we got there, of course, neither of the girls was ready to go. The test began.
Her friend's parents were slightly strict and they snapped their fingers, becoming angry about the girls' resistance. I asked my daughter to come over, and she replied gruffly with a sassy look, "Just a minute, mom!". I was incredibly aware of what the other parents were thinking and almost yelled at her to get her buns out of the pool.
For some reason, a pure shot of wisdom...a beautiful insight...I instead decided to patiently smile back and observe her a little bit without judgement...or insecurity. I decided to have unwavering faith in her...quiet faith...patient faith. What happened was that I felt understanding for her and knew I could be a little patient at this moment. I was not okay with my daughter's behavior, but I was more aware of how to calmly handle the situation.
I laughed to the other parents that they just wanted to finish their game in the pool. The judgement did not change, but my reaction to it did. I was really proud of myself, and I felt a lot of love for my daughter. She came bounding out of the pool all legs and smiles in less time than it would have taken me to yell at her or go get her.
What I was really aware of was how cute my daughter was, and how happy she looked. I also noticed that the other parents were quiet...no yelling or snapping. Did they learn something, as I had? I don't know, but I do know that I felt very pleased and very connected to my sweet daughter.
A few days later, patience saved the day again. We have been looking for a home to rent, and the market has been highly competitive. We had one application in at a place we sort-of liked, got rejected from one, were 2nd in line for one that got rented out, and were in discussions with a man regarding his house, which we loved despite the bad location. In short, we were in the game, but did not feel clear about anything that we had seen.
We went back for a 2nd visit to the home in the wrong location, and we almost decided to go for it...almost decided to ignore our gut...almost acted without any patience. That night a new home came on the market...perfect size, perfect location, perfect price. We saw it right away and we both had a great feeling about the house. Three other couples were viewing the house when we went, and the competition was obvious. We did everything we could to let the owner know how interested we were, but ultimately we just had to have faith that it would turn out in out favor.
This morning, we got the call...the house is ours! If we had not been patient, we'd have ended up in a home that we didn't feel sure about, and we'd be paying more money!
Sometimes it feels hard or even impossible to be patient in this life, but that's just our thinking. If we look at common sense, we will see that patience is quiet efficient and quiet simple. If we could all learn to wait...to not react...until we feel clear and calm, what freedom we'd find! We'd all have better predicaments, more time on our hands, and a nicer effect on each other. May you be find patience today and also be treated with it!
Recently, and quite without premeditation, I began questioning myself...began seeing myself as patient.
Two stories...
My daughter was at the pool recently with a friend. She is a pre-teen in all definitions of the word, and everything for me right now is a test. Her friend's parents arrived at the same pick up time and when we got there, of course, neither of the girls was ready to go. The test began.
Her friend's parents were slightly strict and they snapped their fingers, becoming angry about the girls' resistance. I asked my daughter to come over, and she replied gruffly with a sassy look, "Just a minute, mom!". I was incredibly aware of what the other parents were thinking and almost yelled at her to get her buns out of the pool.
For some reason, a pure shot of wisdom...a beautiful insight...I instead decided to patiently smile back and observe her a little bit without judgement...or insecurity. I decided to have unwavering faith in her...quiet faith...patient faith. What happened was that I felt understanding for her and knew I could be a little patient at this moment. I was not okay with my daughter's behavior, but I was more aware of how to calmly handle the situation.
I laughed to the other parents that they just wanted to finish their game in the pool. The judgement did not change, but my reaction to it did. I was really proud of myself, and I felt a lot of love for my daughter. She came bounding out of the pool all legs and smiles in less time than it would have taken me to yell at her or go get her.
What I was really aware of was how cute my daughter was, and how happy she looked. I also noticed that the other parents were quiet...no yelling or snapping. Did they learn something, as I had? I don't know, but I do know that I felt very pleased and very connected to my sweet daughter.
A few days later, patience saved the day again. We have been looking for a home to rent, and the market has been highly competitive. We had one application in at a place we sort-of liked, got rejected from one, were 2nd in line for one that got rented out, and were in discussions with a man regarding his house, which we loved despite the bad location. In short, we were in the game, but did not feel clear about anything that we had seen.
We went back for a 2nd visit to the home in the wrong location, and we almost decided to go for it...almost decided to ignore our gut...almost acted without any patience. That night a new home came on the market...perfect size, perfect location, perfect price. We saw it right away and we both had a great feeling about the house. Three other couples were viewing the house when we went, and the competition was obvious. We did everything we could to let the owner know how interested we were, but ultimately we just had to have faith that it would turn out in out favor.
This morning, we got the call...the house is ours! If we had not been patient, we'd have ended up in a home that we didn't feel sure about, and we'd be paying more money!
Sometimes it feels hard or even impossible to be patient in this life, but that's just our thinking. If we look at common sense, we will see that patience is quiet efficient and quiet simple. If we could all learn to wait...to not react...until we feel clear and calm, what freedom we'd find! We'd all have better predicaments, more time on our hands, and a nicer effect on each other. May you be find patience today and also be treated with it!
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