This
topic interests me because I actually really struggled with what to
call myself when I started my business, Wisdom Life Coaching. I had
my M.S. in counseling, but for reasons I'll explain below, I no
longer wanted to be called a “Counselor”. What I really wanted
to call myself was a “Three Principles Facilitator” but this
would not make sense to most people. You see, I teach three
psychological principles which explain how we create our own
experience of life. The insights and personal growth that come
naturally out of this understanding are truly endless, but the
difficulty I was having was how to find a title that does justice to
what I teach.
As
I mentioned above, the term “Counselor” did not fit anymore. I
spent over three years interning as a counselor in California. I
worked at a high school, a middle school and a family clinic. I
worked hard. I was learning a lot in graduate school about being a
counselor. I was learning about diagnosis, symptoms & how to
unravel the past with a client. I was learning a lot about mental
illness. I was starting to have uncomfortable, heartbreaking moments
with my clients when I was realizing that I didn't always know how to
help. Sometimes I didn't know where to find the answers. I began to
feel a bit hopeless. I loved my clients and I loved the field of
mental health. It seemed, though, that what I had become an expert
on was mental illness.
Luckily
it was at this time that I met Dr. Roger Mills at San Francisco State
University. It really was a lucky day for me when I ended up in his
class. He began to teach us about mental health...resiliency. I was
learning for the first time how change happens naturally, and I knew
that I wasn't going to have to feel hopeless anymore. The answers I
was seeking had been found. My work changed...my life changed &
I've been teaching these “Three Principles” ever since.
The
problem was that this understanding did not fit neatly into the
medical model of psychology/counseling I was working under. My
supervisors wanted me diagnosing and focus on behaviors. The success
I was having with ALL of my clients did not translate for them. It
was at this time that we decided to move to Oregon...and I decided to
start my own business.
When
I began to research a proper title for myself I was at first
resistant to the term “life coach” because it seems so vague...so
overused. I was aware that there are no real standards or
stipulations connected to being a life coach in the U.S. You need
not have a specific degree or credential & anyone can call
themselves a “life coach”. This did not fare well in my
thinking.
That
was until I looked into how the term “life coach” is defined.
These are the things I found; A life coach works with his/her client
to further develop that which the client already possesses. A life
coach focuses on the present and/or future rather than the past. A
life coach does not see their client as ill (thus the term client,
rather than patient). A life coach focuses on teaching rather than
examination and diagnosis. A life coach establishes a warm rapport
with his/her client rather than one based on hierarchy. Music to my
ears!
So
to answer the question, “What is a life coach?” I refer back to
these most basic definitions of the trade. A life coach knows that
the client has a wealth of knowledge and wisdom...and more
importantly their own answers. A life coach's work is to shine a
light on this. This goes hand in hand with the fact that a life
coach should see their client as healthy. A life coach listens for
that health and uses it as a teachable moment so that the change that
occurs for a client is sustainable. A life coach should be teaching
an “inside out” approach rather than giving advice or assuming
that they know better for their client than the client knows for
themselves. It's an uncovering process in which a friendly tone is
created. The process should not be painful, and instead should be
informative and empowering. A life coach knows that the past need
not be “cured” for a good today to occur.
This
is a far cry from most models of counseling, although I've yet to
meet a counselor who did not have their heart in the right place. My
definition of life coaching and what I teach is also a far cry from
the services that many other “life coaches” are offering. As a
consumer it is crucial to know what you're shopping for. If you're
looking for a life coach rather than a counselor, than you should
understand what the difference is.
Likewise,
once you begin your search for a life coach, you should know what
you're hoping to learn. A life coach is actually a teacher. They
teach on the subject of life. Your coach, therefore, should have
something to teach you about life that you don't already know with
clarity. A life coach is also a mentor and this speaks to the
importance of feeling a connection to and an interest in the coach.
Hopefully
this definition (of sorts) has offered some clarity regarding the
term “life coach” and all that it means...and doesn't mean. When
a life coach truly has an understanding to offer you it can enhance
your life and leave you with knowledge that you'll have long after
your coaching sessions are over.
